NewsletterNewsletter
Vol. 1, No. 1 March 19, 2007
Fireside Chat from the PresidentBy Kay Elkins-Elliott, President, ACR Dallas
Welcome to the first ACR Dallas newsletter and the first message from your president. This is an exciting year for ACR! Your leaders are in the final stages of a strategic planning process designed to increase your enjoyment of and benefits from the only local ADR organization for all of North Texas that is affiliated with a national conflict resolution association.
The strategic goals we are formulating concentrate on three areas of service: continuing education, networking and publicity, as well as career placement. Specifically, the new projects in place to support those goals are as follows: (1) a mentorship program, lead by our own Jerry Cosby, that will be the bridge from training to professional placement; (2) this newsletter under the skilled leadership of Joe Hewitt, former president and newspaper editor; (3) enhancement of our website with the help of Z Lewis, a dedicated board member, and a professional web designer and guru from the world of private law firms; (4) improved membership programs with new features such as "Ask a Mediator"; (5) a data base of career placement opportunities with job descriptions and contact information; (6) a mini-conference at the Texas Wesleyan University School of law in Fort Worth on June 9 (register now for the discounted price!); (7) partnering with local organizations to provide increased opportunities for mediation experience under the direction of Kathy Keith (treasurer) and Doug Skierski (secretary); and finally (8) improved publicity for and public awareness of our members and the organization under the guidance of board member Larry Love.
We need your help to bring these endeavors to fruition. If you have any interest in helping on one of these projects or any information that would help your leaders to be more successful in providing these services to you and our community, please contact me at k4mede8@swbell.net.
We also need to see you at the monthly membership meetings that are now quite lively! We meet on the fourth Tuesday of each month, at 2900 Live Oak near downtown Dallas. We begin at 5:30 p.m. with a delicious catered dinner, and networking before the program, which begins at 6.00 p.m. Announcements of upcoming events and other important news for the world of ADR professionals are followed by a speaker.
In January we had Linda Solomon and Vickie James, communication coaches and family therapists, present "Creating Responsible Communication," demonstrating the techniques they have so successfully used with people in high conflict. The participants were exposed to some of the advanced communication skills used by mental health professionals.
In February we became aware of the effects of emotional contagion on neutrality and mediation effectiveness, thanks to Dr. Melissa Young Schroeder from the Communications Department of T.C.U., who is conducting groundbreaking research in this area.
In March, Mike McNaughton, the brilliant guy that is taking over the modernization and jazzing of our website, will be presenting "Getting the Most From Your Website" to the members. He will also be telling us about the changes he is making on our website, including having links to all members' sites. Mike’s wife, Jane, is a mediator and a member of ACR Dallas. Mike works at the law firm of Strassberger and Price and is a web site consultant.
April will bring Cris Gilbert and Suzanne Duvall to the podium for an important update on credentialing of mediators through the Texas Mediator Credentialing Association.
May will feature the dynamic Brad Craig on the topic of High Conflict Mediation skills. At each meeting there is now also a final twenty-minute question and answer session with successful mediators that have made the transition from education and training to mediation as a profession.
We need your input, your ideas, your concerns and your presence at our meetings, in our newsletter and at the mini-conference. Please consider being an active participant in all of the projects and activities your ACR is offering this year. Let me hear from you about any news of interest to all conflict resolution specialists. Consider writing something for the next newsletter that will help all of us and submitting it to Joe Hewitt, hewittjoe_marona@msn.com. Put the monthly meetings in your calendar now (we won’t have any meeting in July or August but resume in September with regular monthly meetings). Talk to us and tell us what you are doing. Your communiqués will be confidential unless you say otherwise. We can’t give you what you need and want unless we know what that is. Help us to help you! Thanks for being a member or for considering membership. Pass this information along to your colleagues and encourage them to become part of this dynamic group. See you at the next meetings and at the mini-conference.
Go in peace and help others do the same.
Do Disputants= Emotions Overflow Onto the Mediator?
By Joe Hewitt
Are mediators susceptible to emotional contagion? was the subject of the February 27, 2007, ACR Dallas membership meeting, presented by Melissa Young Schroeder, Ph.D.
Dr. Schroeder= s answer was A Yes,@ especially if the mediator is sensitive to emotional clues revealed by the disputants. Dr. Schroeder, who confessed to being sensitive herself, A tearing up@ when she sees tears well up in the eyes of others, has been doing extensive research on the subject at Texas Christian University (TCU) in Fort Worth. She teaches in the Department of Communication Studies, and has many years of experience as a mediator in the university setting.
Her research shows that emotions can be transferred unconsciously from one person to another via facial expression and body language. A Because mediators are encouraged and trained to identify and attend to disputants= emotions, they may be susceptible to this phenomenon,@ she said. Such emotional contagion may jeopardize the mediator= s perceived neutrality.
Part of Dr. Schroeder= s research involved two groups of experienced mediators whose emotional contagion was tested after viewing two videos. The videos had the same content, except one was charged with anger, and the other was not. The group that saw the anger-charged video revealed much more emotional contagion, but, according to testing, was not generally aware of it.
A Mediator training programs should include information about emotional contagion and how mediators can respond to the challenges of remaining neutral and objective in the midst of strong emotional displays,@ Dr. Schroeder said. More research is continuing at TCU and other institutions.
(For more information contact Melissa Young Schroeder, Ph.D., TCU, 817-257-6662, m.j.young@tcu.edu.)
Five Groups Plan Mediation Mini-Conference
By Kay Elliott
Let me tell you a little more about the first mini-conference ever cosponsored by the five mediation organizations in North Texas: ACR Dallas, Dispute Mediation Service of Dallas, Dispute Resolution Service of Ft. Worth, Southwest Conflict Resolution Network of Plano and the Tarrant County Association of Mediators. On Saturday, June 9, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., mediators and other conflict specialists will gather at the Texas Wesleyan School of Law at 1515 Commerce in downtown Fort Worth (across from the Convention Center) for a day of education, socializing, networking and professional bonding. The price is only $85 if you register before May 1!
The program highlights include: the keynote address by Judge Debra Lehrmann on Therapeutic Justice and the Mediator, followed by a hilarious Ethics Game: Be a Mediataire (Mediator Extraordinaire), with the ever-amazing Ross Stoddard; training on High Conflict Mediation Techniques by the talented Brad Craig. There will be door prizes, and continuing education and ethics units (5.5 hours, pending, including 2.5 ethics) for many professions (C.L.E., C.E.U. and for submission to T.A.M. and T.M.C.A.). Registration forms and further information are on the ACR Dallas website, www.dallasacr.org.
Please join us for a day of learning, sharing and laughs!
Kay Elliott is President of ACR Dallas, k4mede8@swbell.net.
The Role of Mediators in Pre-Divorce Counseling
By Kathy Keith
Several months ago I caught a Dr. Phil episode dealing with people describing themselves as competitive to the extreme in their careers and personal relationships. Naturally, their significant others complained. Yet to a person, they stated that they couldn’t help themselves, evidencing what my teens call "The Deny, Distract, and Deflect Shuffle." So, a grinning Dr. Phil urged them to compete for mental health.
As a psych-based mediator, I believe the divorce industry guides a process that is often dissonant with the pursuit of mental health. How would things be different, I’ve wondered, if a couple knew how to seek divorce while also protecting mental health? Using ADR skilled Third Party Neutrals (TPNs) in a variety of ways might be conducive to mental health. Here are a few suggestions.
Strategic Overview: While TPNs will not teach or advise law, they do have a great deal of wisdom that the public can use. Therefore, a couple could consult a TPN initially to review professional services (attorneys, financial planners, mediators, law and mediation centers, appraisers, etc.), approximate costs, various approaches (full representation, pro se, mediation, settlement conferences, collaborative law) and information resources (library, bookstore, internet) available to consumers. With a broad review from a neutral, a couple can then decide the most cost-effective way for them to proceed. Besides information, the TPN would be modeling a cooperative tone that might sustain the couple as they move forward.
Negotiated Divorce Process: It is a good bet that a divorce-bound couple has great difficulty communicating. When each takes their discontent to professional adversaries, the process can become hostile quickly. It would be well worth the money and time for a couple to negotiate the divorce process with the help of a TPN. They could help the couple understand the use of collaborative lawyers as well as represented lawyers; mediation centers or private practice mediators; who files? whether they need one or two financial advisors; the need to make tax decisions; how they will advise children; to what degree they will involve mutual friends and in-laws, church continuity, separation practicalities, health insurance, and other matters. Individual couples need to discuss in the context of their unique divorce.
Three Session Mediation of Divorce Content: Disassembling a marriage is difficult for most couples. Mental health professionals advise people to take more time during stress – time to ponder, listen, phrase carefully, and rest. Though counsel and some mediators may prefer the one-session standard, it is not a customer service model. Besides being grueling, one-session mediations foster caucus, giving in, fatigue-based decisions, errors, and last minute demands, all hallmarks of positional bargaining. An agreement may emerge, but resentment smolders. Too often, the single-session approach feeds modification filings that will consume the court’s time. Instead of trimming the docket, the very opposite occurs.
Post-divorce adjustments: When couples experience the success mediation offers, there is usually universal agreement to return to mediation (same mediator or not) when changes in the agreement need to be made. Couples that endured a highly contentious divorce often become fearful of the legal system and postpone changing agreements even when necessary. Sometimes new spouses wind up becoming the go-betweens, putting dual-role stress on them and making the second marriage vulnerable. A TPN could provide relief to this type of family system with brief assistance focused on changes to pre-existing decrees (incorporating attorneys as needed).
Blended Family Agreements: It is not unusual for blended families to seek counseling either before combining living arrangements or soon after. A TPN could fill the gap in which counseling leaves off by helping step-families develop written agreements about living conditions, parenting, finances, curfews, chores, etc. On the other end of the age continuum, demographers forecast that more middle-aged marrieds will incorporate seniors into their households. With two sets of values about running a household, a TPN could help these families make agreements about living conditions, shared finances, transportation, driving privileges, and more, to prevent friction and alleviate the tension on the spouse in the middle.
In this era of turf protection, I want to be clear. I’m not suggesting that TPNs should practice either law or therapy without a license. I am saying that consumers often need help in the great between, when counselors end and attorneys begin. Skilled TPNs, working within their expertise, can make a huge positive difference. I think families deserve it.
Kathy Keith has an M.A. in conflict management, and applied psychology doctorate. She consults with individuals and organizations about consensus building processes including mediation. Kathy is also Treasurer of ACR Dallas.
kkc222@gmail.comBoard of Directors Report
By Doug Skierski
Your Board of Directors has been working hard to improve ACR-Dallas and make it possible for you to get the most out of your membership. The Board has met twice in the first quarter of the year, in addition to its regular meetings, to generate ideas and create a strategic plan to improve ACR-Dallas and make it a more active and vital organization.
The Board has worked with facilitators and has discussed, in details, ACR-Dallas’ strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, obstacles, values and goals. From our discussions, we have created a new Mission Statement, Vision Statement and Values Statement. We have also established some primary Objectives. The Board plans to meet again to establish specific steps, and ultimately a comprehensive plan, to achieve the Objectives described below.
Vision statement:
ACR-Dallas is recognized by the North Texas area conflict resolution providers and consumers as a primary source of education, ethics, training and guidance. ACR-Dallas supports the use of best practices and the understanding of conflict resolution by providing programs to its members and by communicating with consumers of conflict resolution services.
Mission statement:
ACR-Dallas is an organization of professional conflict resolution providers promoting education, ethics and harmony.
Values statement:
ACR-Dallas values ethical practices, exemplified by honesty, integrity, accountability, respect, equity, diversity and cooperation.
Proposed Objectives:
Increase participation of established mediators.
Increase active membership by at least 5 people each month.
Increase publicity to increase the credibility and visibility of ACR-Dallas through publishing an e-newsletter three times per year, improving the web site, increasing hits to the web site and linking to other related sites and establishing an active speakers bureau.
Member input is welcomed in this process. If you have any comments on the Statements and Objectives set out by the Board, please submit them to Kay Elliott, k4mede8@swbell.net, and they will be taken into consideration at the Board’s next strategic planning meeting.
Doug Skierski is an attorney mediator and Secretary of ACR Dallas, dskierski@lockeliddell.com.